Stop

I have been, for a few months now, feeling rather tired, rather unhealthy. Seems like I haven't got the energy or the will to get things done as promptly, or to achieve as much as I would like. It feels like your body and mind have gone bonkers, and all it sorely needs a good long hot bath soak in a cold winter's night.

While a holiday getaway would be ideal (and probably much needed), I would think that is just a temporary measure. Let's face it, after days off work without worrying about the work and stress of life, you get back to the grind again after that quick getaway, and then it all starts all over again. Life has become such routine. Monotonous. It's especially true when I'm back here in London.



Then, it has got me thinking, all the rat race, this nagging daily worry of not being able to achieve what have been set out, and all these expectations, how pointless are they? Sure, these expectations do drive one to propel further, and you need money to survive, but why are we putting so much excessive pressure and stress on the one thing that we'll ever have once, our body and mind? How far should we push ourselves? Is there a limit we can see before we "break"?

There are times when I would feel this immense pressure, then to think back, how fantastic those college days were back then. Carefree and stress-free (except for maybe a final project or two) but they are so much more enjoyable. Felt that even driving my good old trusty Satria was actually quite a sheer driving pleasure. I was even happier with my crappy sub RM2000 pay at college. It seems that as we grow older, things become more complex, more stressful, and much more at stake. Is this all the part and parcel of growing old? So much so that we become so consumed in the race, we totally lost track of things. Or to even stop for a moment, to live your life?

I think I need a serious case of detox, destress, or whatever you call it. Perhaps, I would need to explore meditation as an option.